Lives Well Lived: The Secret to Happiness and Longevity

by Lisa Thomson, JFS Calgary

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(Calgary) – We may believe that we can achieve happiness and live a good, long life through working hard, achieving our life goals, enjoying prosperity, maybe experiencing some fame.

But research says something different.

The quest to find the secret elixir for happiness and longevity isn’t new. The commercial industry that promotes a ‘good life’ is enormous – there is no shortage of tonics, potions, creams, exercise programs and diets that promise to improve and extend our lives.

The most significant research on this subject is an ongoing study launched 86 years ago in 1938, during the Great Depression. Researchers at Harvard University have been tracking two cohorts, watching their lives unfold in real time. The Harvard Study of Adult Development is the longest in-depth longitudinal study on human life and continues to track participants as they progress through life, to determine what makes them happy and healthy over time.

The study initially tracked the lives of 724 men – a group of Harvard sophomores and a control group of disadvantaged boys from Boston’s poorest neighbourhoods. The study continues to monitor the lives of remaining participants and has expanded to include their spouses and offspring, looking at their physical and mental health, careers, marital status and relationships, successes and failures.

Participants have moved through their lives becoming factory workers, bricklayers, doctors, lawyers, and even one President of the United States (John F. Kennedy). Some rose to power; some fell from grace. Some have led unremarkable lives.

Offspring of the original cohort are now part of the Second Generation study, exploring the effects of early life experiences on health and aging in mid-life. Other measurements being studied include impacts on their lives from the pandemic and social media.

Findings from this enormous project have surprised the researchers. The lessons aren’t about fame, wealth, careers and high achievement. The key to happiness and longevity is in maintaining strong, warm relationships.

Strong, warm relationships are where we feel we can be ourselves, that we matter. These relationships help us better handle stress, decreases inflammation in our bodies and helps us age more slowly, keeping us physically stronger with sharper minds. Relationships can be with romantic partners, family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and others.

“Human connection is our superpower, says Dr. Robert Waldinger, Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. “Good relationships help us get through life’s inevitable challenges, and they keep us happier and healthier.”

Who could you call in the middle of the night if you are sick or scared?’ A question posed to participants, researchers find that having even one person in your life that you feel ‘has your back’, is essential for maintaining your happiness and your health.

‘Social fitness’ is as important for your health as physical fitness and is different for everyone. Are you as connected as you want to be with other people? If you feel you are missing out on connections, it’s important to develop more of the relationships that you need. Research has found that it is never too late to develop warm relationships, even if you haven’t had success in the past.

How can we strengthen our connections and increase our happiness?

 

1. Nurture your relationships, don’t just let things happen. Be proactive, take the initiative, reach out to people, even if you haven’t connected with them in a long time. Pick up the phone, send an email or a note in the mail. Liven up your longstanding relationships by making changes.
2. Connect with people around shared interests. Meet people and strengthen your existing relationships through volunteering, taking a class, join a group. Do something that is meaningful to you and gives you a sense of purpose. Get involved in your community.
3. Get more comfortable meeting people and striking up casual conversations. Talk to strangers. Small interactions, whether they are on a bus, in a grocery story or on a street corner, reduces isolation and increases happiness. Research proves it.

Community unites, connects and supports us. If you feel you need more connection in your life and you want to make one change to impact your health and happiness, nurture existing relationships, build new relationships, and connect with like-minded people in your communities.

JFSC’s programs and services are built around human connection and building relationships, supporting seniors and older adults, individuals, youth and families. Their volunteer program connects people through opportunities to help others, fosters a sense of purpose, and creates new relationships. JFSC also has a Friendly Visitor program that works to reduce isolation in seniors by pairing a senior with a volunteer for weekly visits, creating meaningful connections for both. For more information on volunteering, Friendly Visitors, and other programs and services, call 403-287-3510 or visit www.jfsc.org.

Looking back at life, participants of The Harvard Study of Adult Development report that the most significant aspect in their lives has been the strength and warmth of their relationships. The lesson? Live your best life by choosing to be more active in nurturing both your body and your relationships.