Rabbi Ilana Krygier Lapides: A Life of Saying Yes

by Jana Zalmanowitz, Local Journalism Initiative Reporter

(AJNews) – April and May bring feelings of the post-Passover springtime bloom. For one prominent member of the Calgary Jewish community, this new beginning is holding an even deeper meaning. For Rabbi Ilana Krygier Lapides, it will mark the beginning of a new chapter, her first outside of Calgary, as The Rocky Mountain Rabbi relocates to Victoria.

You are likely familiar with Rabbi Ilana’s name. The “rabbi” label is a relatively recent addition when you consider her long history within Jewish Calgary as a student, educator, professional and leader.

Born a first generation Canadian, Rabbi Ilana describes herself as part of Calgary’s “post-war tribe.” Her father was a child Holocaust survivor and her mother was born outside a DP camp in Germany to Auschwitz survivors. She recalls a cascade effect of how her family and others came to Calgary, forming a close-knit community of survivors and descendants who leaned on one another while rebuilding what had been lost.  She grew up surrounded by a chosen family of “aunts” and “uncles”.

Her early education took place at I.L. Peretz, which later unified with the Calgary Hebrew school to become the Calgary Jewish Academy. While her parents were not traditionally religious, she describes them as Yiddishists and developed an early love for the language.

“My parents used to speak Yiddish at home and at first my sister and I wouldn’t understand,” she remembers. “But we ended up learning too quickly so they had to switch to Polish.”

After grade 6, Rabbi Ilana made the uncommon move to continue at the Hebrew school, driven by her passion for Jewish learning. She deepened her Yiddish proficiency through private evening lessons twice a week.

By high school, her leadership instincts were already emerging. At Wisewood High School, she remained deeply involved in Jewish life through BBYO.

“By the time I was in grade 10, I was on the regional board,” she says. “I ran conventions, I planned programs. It really was the making of me as a Jewish leader.”

That trajectory continued into university in Edmonton, where she became president of Hillel and served on the board of the Canadian Jewish Congress. It was also a time of growing activism. She witnessed the introduction of Holocaust education symposiums and the national response to the high-profile charges against Holocaust denier James Keegstra, a case that would ultimately uphold Canada’s hate speech laws at the Supreme Court.

She joined the Soviet Jewry Freedom Caravan, travelling across Canada to raise awareness and advocate for Soviet Jews. “It was an interesting time to be a young student,” she says, perhaps understatedly. Among the many stories from that period is one involving being escorted off the grounds of Vancouver Expo by the KGB.

Her path back to Calgary and into Jewish professional life wasn’t planned. “After I graduated I didn’t know what I wanted to do with myself, she says. “I thought maybe I’d be a high school English teacher.”

Instead, she took a job in the baby room at the JCC daycare. One opportunity quickly led to another: assistant director of Camp Noar, then youth programming, then teaching at the Calgary Jewish Academy, where she eventually became the school’s full-time Yiddish teacher after completing formal studies in Tel Aviv.

“Basically my whole career was people asking me if I wanted to do something and me saying yes,” she says, revealing her true skill resides in knowing when and how to seize an opportunity.

That openness shaped a career that spanned the full spectrum of community life. She worked in youth programming, Holocaust education for Jewish Federation for over a decade, BBYO leadership, and senior programming at the JCC.

“I worked with people who were two all the way up to 102,” she says.

Percolating in the background was an idea Rabbi Ilana held onto for a long time. “I always wanted to be a rabbi,” she explains. “The first time I met a woman rabbi, was in my early 20s, and it just blew my mind.”

She had even looked into this idea during one of her professional pivots. At the time, becoming a rabbi would have required relocation to the United States, something that wasn’t possible.. She had a young family, and after the loss of her sister, held the responsibility of being  her parents’ only surviving child. “I wasn’t going anywhere,” she says, and she put the idea on the backburner.

Twenty years later, the world was grappling with the COVID pandemic. Rabbi Ilana seized an opportunity. While the world went online, so did rabbinical schools. After completion of the course, she was ordained through the Jewish Spiritual Leaders Institute out of New York.

Ordination opened new doors. She became the Jewish community Chaplain through Jewish Family Services. “It’s such an honor to be able to be with people at the most difficult time of their lives and bring them some comfort. That’s a beautiful experience for me,” she recalls.

Beth Tzedec soon brought her on to teach Bar Mitzvah lessons, As with past positions, the role quickly expanded into also running family services, eventually an assistant rabbi position.

Becoming a congregational rabbi was never part of Rabbi Ilana’s plan. After becoming ordained, she started building her company and reputation as a life cycle events rabbi, the Rocky Mountain Rabbi.  “I wanted to cater to folks who felt disenfranchised or unaffiliated,” she including those from the LGBTQ+ communities or families with neurodivergent children.

In many ways, Rabbi Ilana’s journey reads like a map of Jewish Calgary. Her decades of involvement across institutions reflect not only her adaptability, but her deep commitment to the community that shaped her, and that she, in turn, helped shape.

Calgary’s community is warm, but its weather is cold. “We knew we didn’t want to grow old in Calgary,” she says with a smile. “The cold is starting to get to us.”

With their children living elsewhere, and fewer ties keeping them rooted in the city, she and her husband David saw an opportunity. Victoria, home to their daughter and a milder climate, became the next destination. It was decided, the Rocky Mountain Rabbi would take up residence on the other side of the range.

The move doesn’t mean Rabbi Ilana will be slowing down her Jewish contributions. Think of it more as redistributing. “Not everybody lives near a shul school,” she says. “I want to create environments for them to feel connected to their Judaism.”

The word she returns to when describing her departure is “bittersweet.” After a lifetime of shared experiences, relationships, and community-building, Calgary remains deeply embedded in who she is.

“I think Jewish Calgary is incredibly special,” she emphasizes. “We’re so lucky in Calgary because we have made it a priority to have Shalom Bayit (peace in the home) and we are aware that we are too small to be divisive.”

Her message to the community is simple, but resonant. “The only advice I have is to not take it for granted. It doesn’t happen automatically. It takes time, work and a generosity of spirit.”

For decades, Rabbi Ilana has modelled that generosity of spirit. As members of the Jewish community, friends, neighbours, former students and colleagues, many touched by her will continue to carry on her example. She is sure to bloom where she is planted next. And whenever she returns for a visit, Calgary hopes to make the Rocky Mountain Rabbi proud.

 Jana Zalmanowitz is a Local Journalism Initiative Reporter.